For Those in an Emotional Affair Recovery

Emotional Affair Recovery is a Newer Type of Affair

With internet at an all time high usage, the ability to communicate has increased tenfold, and with both spouses working outside the home affairs become more prevalent and so does the possibility of dealing with an emotional affair recovery.  Emotional adultery or an emotional affair are synonymous terms and are a real as you can make them.

Are you discovering your emotions running deep and finding that your secretive relationship beyond your personal marriage intrudes into your home love life, then you might find out that, an affair can dive in deeply as an intimate love interest or it can be as simple as a casual conversational partner that you share intimate emotional details with.  If you are getting over an affair, whether emotional or physical, everything here at we will center around the emotional aspect of having an affair and will be geared towards helping an individual with the process of having some type of recovery.

To give time and attention to another person who is not your spouse is damaging not only to your past efforts to your marriage but damaging to your spouse themselves. Although this type of extramarital relationship seems innocent enough, its usually somewhere down the road where when the problem gets discovered by your partner. If you are thinking about ending an emotional affair you have to remember there are more people than just you who is involved.

The slippery slope of an affair becomes a gradual, slow  process that can take over your thought processes where your sense of reality gets lost the deeper you find your self in it. It is an addictive cycle.

How did you feel when your relationship ended emotionally?  There is no doubt the pain enters deep within your heart and depression usually follows.

Whether you are the person who found about your spouses affair in horror or you are the person who fell deeply in love, recovery for love lost is a slow and painful process.  We need to learn how to survive an affair, we need to learn how to have a slow and meaningful emotional affair recovery.

Surviving an Affair

Recovery from intimacy beyond your spouse can happen, but it must be taken day by day.  An emotional affair recovery can begin as soon as you decide to leave behind your secret love interest. Stopping emotional infidelity before it starts is much easier than becoming attached to someone then trying to survive an affair after its over or worse yet your spouse finding you in your relationship.

Hope is Always Near

Is there hope to save your relationship and create a affair proof marriage?Saving your marriage relationship should be the first priority, so if you are desperate to stay home and keep your family relationships intact then you should break off an intimate affair.
If the this relationship becomes apparent and is discovered by your spouse then an apology is the best starting point. The emotional devastation will continue but it is possible to reconnect and become stronger than prior to the love affair.

Men vs Women and an Emotional Affair Recovery

Men and women are usually emotionally different and it is said that men do not get as attached to an emotional relationship and women tend to fantasize about love and become more attached by transferring their feeling from fantasy to reality. Men unfortunately are just a susceptible to falling deeply in love even in a emotional affair that goes beyond the marriage boundaries, but on the average men tend to move on and don’t want the commitment. Trust is important in marriage and it is a act of commitment.  Searing this devotion makes this act of unity more difficult for both parties. Can you have a relationship if you cant trust your spouse?
The sanctity of marriage unfortunately for some people has minimal boundaries. The laws of men and God make it binding. This binding contract is often violated by both men and women and it can be done by a physical or an emotional connection. An affair that connects spiritually and mentally is just as hard to break away from as a physical one- some say even more. Since this public commitment is witnessed by God and man, breaking it apart then trying to save it is like trying to keep an airplane flying after it loses an engine. Pulling the plane back up to a level position can be as difficult as losing a relationship and starting an emotional affair recovery.

Change your Focus in your Relationship


Your marriage is important, and the life you have with your spouse is ever-changing. A large part of your marital problems comes from communicating and from money issues. When you think your marriage is falling apart, then you might want to revisit how you communicate with your spouse. When arguing you should be able to come to an agreement that suits you both, if the agreement is to disagree then that alone at times may be a acceptable too. It’s perfectly normal to disagree but it’s not OK to focus on the negatives.

Don’t focus that you have an argument and get upset, look at the outcome that you both can benefit. When you focus on things that help you have a healthy mind, then you will realize it is OK to disagree and you will become less anxious. Being anxious makes your emotional foundation weak. If your foundation is weak then everything else around you will seem just as out of control. When you are asking for help, and you realize your marriage is falling apart, it may be a clue that you need to concentrate on the positive things verses the negative.

Look for the Positives in your Relationship.

1. Many couples have the same humor and enjoy each other in this way. If this is true you should use this to encourage positive thoughts.

2. Have you communicated your fears and problems? Your spouse knows what they are and this alone can help you with your own problems.

3. What are your similarities? Remember the things you like to do together.


It s easy to get in a routine that feeds negativity, children do this well, and as adults its easy to fall into this trap. To make or break your rut you should make a long list of things that are good about your spouse, for some people they are dealing with a spouse who is having an intimate emotional affair. This alone can be devastating. To try to think of things that are good about them can be difficult at best. Memories are what help us stay sane, especially in a world of pain. Maybe a visual of the both of you at a happy moment may help bring you two where you should be and help make you into a positive thinking individual. Life is all about thinking with a healthy mind. Relationships are difficult, but the rewards a great if you can be successful in transforming how you think

Cheating in a Marriage | How to Decipher a Cheater


it is easy to redefine a word, an action or anything else that make a person feel goo about themselves. Could a guilty conscience sway someone from the real definition of cheating? The cheater can change their own definition easily. It could be a past experience, future thought or an act that is happening right now.

Perhaps you think your spouse is a con artist, or thier actions are leading in that direction. To define infidelity you have to prove they are cheating on you. Sometiomes the cheater will redefine what it is to cheat.

What is cheating?

  • Intimate contact in any form
  • Looking twice at someone.
  • Emotional cheating.
  • Texting intimately
  • Preferring to talk to someone else besides your spouse.

Of course to get your significant other to admit he or she is cheating might take alot of prompting. The cheaters mind is somewhat confused, probably because they want to justify what they are doing to themselves and you. then you might ask, “Why would they even think of finding someone else?” Alot of people who look for attention from someone else is because they feel like they are beimng neglected.

Some clues from a cheater.

Defensiveness-Does your spouse become real defensive when asked if he is confronted about their behavior. Does he become angry?

Transparency- Are they open and honest about thier relatikonship with someone else.

Not trying hard to communicate- They might be having a relationship and becoming intimate with someone else.

Its also important to not become angry if you suspect anything, your suspicion might lead to anger which also lead them further away from you.

How to Get over an Affair in Todays Society

How to get over an affair?  That is the million dollar question. Nobody likes the pain and agony of finding about a relationship that your partner is having. You may be wondering how long does it take to get over an affair and you may be wondering why did this happen to me, or what did I do wrong?  Blaming yourself only leads to a self destructive pattern.


First Step to Freedom to Get Over an Affair

If you want to set your mind free and reclaim your mind you have to forgive. Now this might be easier said than done, but the path to sanity is to let go of those destructive thought patterns. Sometimes the best way to render patterns of destructive thought is to render them powerless.  If there is no control you will feel like you are losing your mind. Emotional infidelity in marriage can become an all consuming and never ending thought process that can spiral out of control.

Reasons you may lose your mind:

  • Trying to control the offender.
  • Refusing to forgive.
  • Blaming yourself for the affair.
  • Isolating yourself from friends or relatives to discuss your problems.
  • Refusing therapy from a counselor.

Any of the above situations will only make you become more engrossed and more helpless internally. In any type of healing within the mind you need to stop the negative thinking, you need positive thoughts to overcome all the bad influential negative thoughts.

How to get over an Affair in Small Increments

In today’s society its so easy to want to get fixed quick, to get over the pain of an affair. The slow gradual mentality works so much better.  Realize that affairs don’t happen overnight, because there are usually courtships that happen before your spouse even becomes sexually involved in an affair.  There is usually an emotional affair that precedes. Realizing that it is a slow process will help you understand and grieve properly.


Negative thought patterns will drive you crazy and will slow your recovery and will not help you forgive. Your heart is broken and needs time to recover, a slow forgiving recovery is better than a bitter destructive mentality, when you realize this you will learn how to get over an affair.

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